Waiting tables can be monotonous. I say the same things to every table with about five jokes that are interchangeable depending on the customer. One day bleeds and blurs into another until the only way you can keep track of the calendar is by what soup* is being served that day and when the paycheck comes in. Sometimes there may be the excitement of a complaint or getting yelled at, or a cute someone or other that makes the day just a bit brighter, but in the end those events melt together until one is indistinguishable from the other.
In the world of waiting tables the server is the seal and the day to day events are the water that rushes over it's back.
At least that's the idea... to be the centered professional who is not affected by the yelling, the rudeness, the person looking for a handout, the girl crying while her boyfriend sits emotionless demanding another glass of ice tea. You do your job, collect your tips and forget any of it ever happened.
I'm not a very good server. Therefore sometimes I'm affected by these things. Not to mention my overactive mind that continues thinking about stuff long after it is healthy to do so. There are certain events that make me think and get me frustrated... so frustrated in fact I wish I would have never seen anything.**
She was a very pretty girl, 19 or 20 years old, just eating her lunch with her boyfriend. When she was walking out of the restaurant she passed by a woman sitting at the counter. This woman was clearly trying to rebel against the will of Father-Time. She wore the clothes, make-up, and hair of a seventeen year old girl of whom most would say is trying too hard to get attention. As events unfolded details emerged. Apparently the eternal 17 year old had an affair with the father of the pretty 20 year old a year or two back, resulting in ruining the girl's life as her family fell apart.
So how did the pretty 20 year old handle seeing the woman who helped destroy her parent's marriage out in the real world, unexpectedly, and with another guy?
She dumped hot syrup on her head, hit her a few times, called her a few choice names, and explained that she ruined her life.
By the time I was there to see anything the Forever Seventeenager's husband/boyfriend/meal ticket/whatever was holding the girl***, trying to calm her down, and demanding the police be called so he could press charges on the girl. The man was explaining to the girl that these events happened two years ago and she needed to calm down.
The Po-Po showed up.
People were questioned.
I went back to asking people which muffin they wanted with their salad.
But what happened stuck with me the rest of the day. It bothered me. It broke my heart. And I decided a few things:
1) That's not enough time!
When trying to reason with the girl the man holding her explained that these things happened two years ago, inferring that she should be over it by now and passed the syrup dumping stage.
What a cold hearted and stupid thing to say!
There's a time line for getting over you're father's infidelity? 18 months? I don't think so. Cheating is a huge deal, and its effects on those involved is not easily forgotten or dismissed. You can't just cheat and then tell the people who's lives are broken as a result that they should be over it by now. You destroyed a family!!! Until you repent before God and ask for forgiveness you should have syrup dumped on your head weekly as a reminder of your shame!
2) I'll get more syrup!
A lady has an affair with a girl's father, helping in the decimation of a family, and all she gets is some syrup on her head? Lady got off easy!!! I'll grab some more syrup and help the girl dump it just on principle. If that happened to me syrup on the lady's hair would be the least of her problems. I don't think people understand how disgusting cheating is, how the affects ripple through countless lives resulting in heartbreak, uncertainty, cynicism, and hatred. There should be a price to pay for that. Which brings me to my last point....
3) True justice is coming... but waiting for it sucks
The "victims" of the attack (the man and woman who for the rest of the day wore syrup as a hat) called the cops and pressed charges against the girl. That really bothered me. People tried to convince me that they were right in doing it. It was, after all, assault. I understand that. What bothered me was the justice can be more swiftly delivered on assault than adultery. The girl ruined this lady's hair due, this lady helped destroy the girl's life! But there is no punishment for that. She can't press charges against her father's mistress.
It seems the lady got away with it. Her life is unaffected by her evil actions. There is no payment she has to make, no mark on her record. But this girl now has assault charges on her permanent record.
I'm not advocating vigilante justice. The girl shouldn't have done what she did. But I sympathize with why she did it. The lady has yet to pay for what she did and that's frustrating. I totally understand her anger at seeing the lady who had the affair sitting in a restaurant, happily going about her life while the sadness of what happened has remained with this girl for years.
It seems completely messed up that justice can come so swiftly for assault but so slowly (seemingly not at all) for adultery.
I want justice now! I want an example to be made. I want people to see the result of living a life like this! But its not about what I want, God does not answer to me.
I have to believe God when He says "Justice is mine, I will repay." I have to wait for the Lord's timing and know that its not like my own. I know that God hurts for this girl. That He hates what has happened. Justice will come swiftly. Just not yet...
That thought makes me pause just for moment. I know the evil things I've done that I have not received punishment for. Christ took the punishment for those things, not because I deserve it but because He loves me. When I remember this I know that I'm no better than this lady. I don't deserve punishment any less. So then I gotta pray the Lord will grip both the lady's and the girl's hearts and show them that forgiveness, peace, and life come only through Christ. That seems like the trite response to all this, "pray for them" but its all I got. With every fiber of my being I hate what this lady has done! But I know I'm not better than she is... and that's a frustrating and sobering thing to have to realize.
Even so, come quickly Lord.
*"Split pea soup? Its Monday?"
** even if it was kinda interesting when it was happening.
***which didn't make me happy
