Friday, July 16, 2010

On Death and My Ambition for a Book

My life goals aren't that extreme. I don't need to climb Mount Everest, and I don't really care too much to swim with dolphins (they are aggressive swimmers*). While it is only my brother and I left to carry on our family name I don't feel compelled to have a family above all else (although I would like to have a family). My one goal in life, the one thing I would like to achieve before eternity is I would like to write a book. I'm not operating under the assumption that writing a book will bring me fame or fortune. It just feels likes something I need to do, whether anyone else reads it or not. When I think of some 250 pages filled with words to construct ideas that present truth in an artistic and tangible way I see a mountain that I would not only like to conquer, but that I feel compelled to conquer. I hesitate to get to writing because I know I will need something to say. I will not write for the sake of writing (I've tried reading books written by guys around my age who tried writing for the sake of writing and it is tedius). Kurt Vonnegut said to write so that you don't waste the reader's time, I hope to create something like that.

As a perpetual planner and dreamer I think about book ideas. I have a few right now. One is a collection of essays that dissect popular topics in the Church and examine them in ways that are honest and, from my experience, not too common. Another is about a superhero type story that will be too silly sounding to explain here (I have two of these actually, one dealing with the hatred and corruption of purity and goodness in the world, the other dealing with guilt). I have an idea to write about life at my college, complete with milk chugging contests and failed dates and crazy roommates. But the one I think I am going to focus on is a book on death.

I think about death a lot. Its part of my regular thought patterns and the way I process everything. I am not obsessed with death. I don't watch the Addams Family and Tim Burton movies all day**. I don't want to die. I'm not depressed. I am just aware of its existence and that shapes my thinking about life. I know that this life is going to end. Everything I do on this earth should, as a result, point me toward what comes after death.

When I say death I'm not talking about dying. I'm pretty sure dying is going to be terrible. I don't wish for that at all. But I do know that what comes after death for those who believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior, who trust in Him as the one who took the punishment for their sins and rose from the dead conquering sin and death, and confess Him as Lord will be in Heaven forever after death. Christian teaching brings us to an abandonment of worldly passions in order to pursue Heavenly ones, because we know that this world will pass away and what comes after is the goal and treasure. This world is temporary. It is not our home, it is not our identity, and it is definitely NOT where we find our hope or joy.

This world is where Christians prepare for eternity, telling those who do not yet believe about the hope that is found only in Christ. It is here that we are made more in His image, and it is here that we show others who Christ is. The hope of Heaven should, if we are thinking rightly about it, draw us away from the things the world pursues because they pursue it under the false impression that this world is all there is. Those without Christ seek the best from this world because they know of nothing else, they can't imagine anything better than this, so they are not willing to sacrifice the pleasures of this world for the pleasures of the better world: Eternity in Heaven.

But that is not how Christians should live. We should not be people lost in seeking comfort here, or notoriety, or fame, or success, or pleasure. While those things may come for some Christians they are not the end and they are not what we should seek. We should be keeping our hope and hearts on Eternity. If we do that then our perspective changes on everything else. We will no longer worry about what the world thinks of us, because we will be content in who we are in Christ. We won't worry about money because our God owns cattle on a thousand hills, there is nothing we require He cannot provide. We won't seek comforts here because He holds us in His arms and in eternity we shall rest at His feet and feast at His banquet table.

I long to be able to think properly about my life on earth and the reality of Eternity. But I know it means transforming my thinking on EVERYTHING! And that is scary. But I know the rewards outnumber the costs exponentially.

I ask myself: What would life be like if I committed myself fully to the hope of eternity, and removed myself from the vain pursuits of the world? Part of me isn't sure I am able to do it because the world surrounds me and has been informing my thinking for so long. I want to start living for eternity and stop living for myself. I want to let go and recklessly pursue Heavenly things, and stop being lost in the labyrinth of selfish ambition I have been exploring. I'm trying to become open to the idea, and praying that the Holy Spirit would guide me and give me the strength to do what is necessary to live for Him while on the earth, rather than living for myself, seeking eternal rewards rather than temporary ones. Its going to mean things will be different; how I see myself, my friends, my job, my car, my career, my family will all have to progressively change and develop into proper thinking and action. I pray that I, and all my Christian brother and sisters will continue to radically progress in having an eternal perspective, rather than a temporal one. It will not be easy, but in Christ all things are possible. I don't think I'm a dreamer in this area, I believe these things are tangible realities we can all know, and the world will be better for it.

That is what my first book will be about.


Anyone want to help finance it?



*thank you Demitri Martin
**okay, so Beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies, but thats beside the point.